In Her Head
by brittaden
Summary: It's early, too early that it should be illegal, and Lorelai is watching Luke sleep. She gets all caught up in her head, reflecting on the past, and how lucky she is to have the present. Post Season 7. Very short. Presented in two parts.
1. Luke

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.**

 **This was requested from someone on Tumblr and I just rolled with it. Hope you enjoy!**

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She's awake before him which usually never happens. Being awake this early should be illegal. But today, as the daylight is just breaking through the gauzy pink curtains, she's awake and watching him while he's still peacefully asleep. Whenever she catches him watching her while she sleeps, she always comments on how it's creepy. Secretly it's endearing. Creepily endearing. Still she likes watching him sleep, it's intimate.

It's terrible to say, or think since she's not really talking to anyone but herself in her own head, but she's surprised at just how big a role intimacy plays in their relationship. Especially when it's concerning their sex life.

Before they got together, she would often wonder how Luke would be in bed. It was usually a fleeting moment brought on by the rare moments she was alone in the diner watching him work. That's when she discovered she had a thing for his hands. Or moments when they were toeing the line between friendship and lovers. If only one of them had the courage to speak up or make the first move.

When they finally got together, and she means finally in the most exasperated way, they both agreed it had been a long time coming. Eight years in the making. Their first time that night was a build up of those first kisses shared months ago, of countless phone calls shared while he was away, of their interrupted kisses when he finally got back into town, and of the eight long years they spent dancing around one another. In another words, it was hot, full of passion, and definitely better than anything she ever dreamed about with him.

Their second time that night was slower. It's when she learned just how intimate he could be when the moment was right. It's when she also learned that intimacy played a huge part in elevating sex from just sex to making love.

With Christopher, sex had always been just sex. It wasn't a terrible thing, sex with him was almost always fun. But, in the moments after when they were both sweaty and trying to catch their breath, a longing for something more lingered. She pushed it away because he managed to satisfy her more times than not but still that feeling that there should be more lingered around. And because he was always there telling her how much he enjoyed their time together and how great she was and how great they were together. And they were, at least for the most part.

Lorelai didn't realize what was missing from her sex life with Christopher until her sex life with Luke came along. That's when she found out was missing. The intimacy. The moments after when she no longer wanted for something more, when she no longer felt like there was something missing because he had satisfied her in ways that no one else, even Christopher, ever had.

It was how Luke took the time to sometimes slowly build her up and even ease her down after her high. How he lavished her body with kisses before, during, and after. How he always made the effort to make sure that she was satisfied. How well he knew her body and what she liked, even on the first night. How it was the first time she ever saw him as vulnerable. How they moved so in sync like they had been practicing for years.

Even after their relationship fell apart and she went back to Christopher, those moments were desperately missing from her married sex life. She fooled herself into believing that those moments existed but in the after when Christopher was asleep, he had the tendency to fall asleep right after, and she was alone with her thoughts, she was faced with the truth. Her sex life with Luke wasn't in the same ballpark as hers with Christopher's.

Luke's was a World Series kind of life while Christopher's was the intramural team of guys desperately clinging to their high school glory days.

But then Luke came back into her life, bringing back all those little moments and so much more because of their time lost. They had a deeper understanding now. A realization of what was lost during those long, torturous months, and the realization that they weren't going to lose each other again. And they expressed that through their love-making.

Sex with Luke was never just sex. It never had been. Even from the first night, she would call it making love rather than sex. Even in the moments when they were both uninhibited and the best term to describe their night was primordial, there was always something more. And she never wanted to use that term before. Not before Luke. But now that was the only thing that defined what they were and how they moved together.

Lorelai smiles when she notices that he's waking up. She snuggles back down in bed and comes to eye level with him before she presses a kiss to his lips. His eyelids flutter before he's fully awake.

"Were you watching me sleep?" he asks.

She shakes her head and denies it. "Nope."

She grins when he doesn't fight it but instead lifts up his arms and whispers a sleepy 'come here'. She obliges, cuddling up to him. Her head on his chest and one of her legs thrown across both of his. This is the moment she was talking about. Scratch that…thinking about. The ones where it's just them, the before and the after when they're just holding one another close and not talking because words aren't needed. One of the few times in her life that she doesn't feel the need to fill the silence with endless babbling.

He's here and he's holding her close, stroking her back lightly and pressing kisses into her hair. And she's content. No longer longing for something that's always been missing with everyone else. She has everything that she needs. Everything that she's ever wanted.

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 **As always reviews are appreciated.**


	2. Christopher

**Disclaimer in first chapter.**

 **A sort-of follow up/sort-of prequel to the previous chapter. A response to the last chapter as requested. Might not be your thoughts on this relationship but I was asked to write something about Lorelai having to fake an orgasm with Christopher and her married life with him was the perfect set-up.**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

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She slips out from underneath the covers, grabs her discarded pajamas from the floor, and retreats to the bathroom. As she starts to run water for a bath, she shuts the door behind her, as not to wake him. Not that it really matters because by the sound of his snoring he's already in a deep sleep and will be difficult to wake up. Christopher always did have a habit of falling asleep right after. An annoying and never failing habit.

Usually she likes the closeness after sex. The cuddling and talking and embracing one another that was then usually followed by sleep or a second round of rollicking, if they had the energy. The pure intimacy of it all. But that was missing with Christopher. Sure his falling asleep wasn't always immediate, there would be kisses shared and a little cuddling up to one another, but it was generally just a few minutes before he was passed out. But she could get over it because, in the end, she was satisfied.

Tonight. was an exception.

If there past couple of times were any indication, the exceptions were turning out to be more than just exceptions, it was becoming something routine for her.

She was the one to initiate things, pulling him upstairs and into their bedroom where they fell into bed with a few laughs before things quickly heated up. But, as hard as he tried, and he did try so hard, she just couldn't get there. She changed their position more than once, setting her own pace and chasing the intensity that burned deep within her, but the feeling she desperately craved remained just out of her grasp.

He couldn't hold out and came before she did, apologizing as he did so and promising after that he would help her out. And he did. Or he tried. Kneeling on the bed, between her legs, working his tongue and fingers in tandem to satisfy her as best as he could. It worked, at first. Her hands had tightened in his hair as he started to build her back up from the feeling that waned and she felt herself on the peak once again but no matter what, her orgasm still remained elusive.

He was never really that good at oral anyway. At least she thought he had been good until she was opened up to new experiences. But he tried incredibly hard. She had to give him that.

She was sweaty, exhausted, and growing so damn frustrated that she couldn't climax, that she decided to fake it. She pulled him in closer, moaned out his name, and gave an Oscar-worthy performance as she bucked and writhed underneath his touch.

He bought it.

He kissed her way up his body, bragging that he always knew exactly how to satisfy her, before kissing her deeply and rolling over to his side of the bed and promptly falling asleep.

Which is what brought her here.

It wasn't her first time faking an orgasm. It wasn't even her first time faking an orgasm with Christopher. If pregnancies were insistent on both parties having an orgasm, she wouldn't have Rory. It was, however, her first time that she felt a strong need to fake one in a while. Even when things with Luke had taken a turn with the April situation and their sex life turned perfunctory, she never felt a pull to fake her own pleasure. They weren't the best orgasms of her life but they were a whole hell of a lot more satisfying than having to fake the satisfaction of a good orgasm.

She softly cursed herself for allowing her thoughts to drift back to Luke. Specifically, Luke in bed. That was in the past and it was going to stay in the past. She was married to Christopher now, there wasn't a need to dwell on her sex life with another man. And definitely not her sex life with Luke. Even if he always did make sure she was satisfied. Completely satisfied. And if he did know exactly how to work her body until she was crying out his name. Sometimes more than one time in a night.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she slipped into the bathtub filled with warm water and a sea of bubbles. She closed her eyes, dropping her head back to rest on the edge of the tub as the warm water enveloped her and relaxed her tense body. Absentmindedly, her hand dipped into the water and cupped her breast. She sighed at the touch before allowing her hand to drift lower beneath the water. Leaning into her own touch, she pressed against her hand and started to enjoy the feelings now coursing through her body.

She was still worked up from mere minutes earlier that chasing her own orgasm seemed inevitable.

The combination of the warm water filled with bubbles, the notion that she was so close earlier, and the thoughts that raced through her mind before she had a chance to push them away, she knew that this time she would get the orgasm that she had craved and chased. She was just going to get it at her own hand. Literally.

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 **As always, reviews are appreciated.**


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